My Approach To Santa and the Holidays

Disclaimer: This post is intended for adults.

My eclectic holiday scene.

I have a slightly different approach to Santa than the traditional American family. I am sharing it here in case it resonates with other parents. Please know that my thoughts and opinions are by no means the “right” way to do things, just the way that works for me and my family. I do not judge any other approach. You and your spouse are the only ones who know what is best for your family.

The big headlines are that I don’t lie to my child about the existence of Santa Clause and I don’t place emphasis on naughty or nice behavior. Now, this might sound extreme, but if you read on, you’ll see that actually very little is different.

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What We Still Do

• Decorate the house for the holiday

• Make Christmas cookies

• Get into the Christmas spirit by bringing gifts and donations to others

• Celebrate Christmas with family and friends (via zoom because it’s 2020)

• Enjoy time off from work and other obligations to have more time for each other

• Give each other gifts on Christmas morning

• Listen to Christmas music

• Create Christmas crafts

• Create Christmas “magic” in the good energy of the season

• Know of Santa as a character

• Honor and respect the way others celebrate the season

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My Alternative Approach to Santa Goes Like This

1. Talk about Santa as a character. Santa is a wonderful character to celebrate. We have books that feature Santa and we see him in some holiday movies. We have a Santa hat. We’ll cheer Ho Ho Ho! It is fun to enter the world of pretend. Just as we read and talk about Lightening McQueen, we will do the same with Santa. We can act out scenes from books or movies the way we would with other characters. Santa is a positive, jolly character we talk about during the holiday season.

2. Answer questions honestly. (But have fun with it. No Grinch here.) If my son asks me questions like “Does Santa really go to every house on Christmas night?” I might say back “Does that seem possible to you? No. That wouldn’t be possible. Do you want to pretend we are in Santa’s sleigh and drop a present at each room in our house? Let’s see how long it takes us just to do that.” If he asks, “Does Santa really come down the chimney?” I will answer him honestly, perhaps with something like “No, that seems pretty dangerous, but it is fun to pretend that he does. Let’s see how high we can jump to see if we’d be able to reach the top of the house!” Notice I said if my son asks me, I by no means plan to be a Grinch with each story and add in commentary to say it’s not true. That takes the fun away of getting into the story. The key is honesty when a kid is seeking to understand something, to set boundaries of truth and fiction. It’s fun to play fantasy, and live rooted in reality.

3. My son is currently three years old and I feel no need to proactively tell him that Santa is not real. When the questions start to come as he gets old, I will ensure that he understands that other kids may have been told that the story is true, not a fable, and therefore, we have to respect that and not ruin their fun.

4. It probably goes without saying that Elf on the Shelf is also not something I will do with my son. The idea that Santa or Elf on the Shelf are watching you at all times is totally creepy and inappropriate to me. “He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows if you’re awake…” not in my house.

   My goal is to celebrate the season with joy and giving. The focus, for us, is not on getting on the nice list to receive elaborate or flashy gifts, but appreciating what we have and receive.

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Why This Approach is Important to Me

• Trust. I don’t like the idea of lying to my child.

• Reality. We stay pretty grounded in reality around here. We play pretend, of course, but my son has a healthy understanding of what is real and what is fake and I just don’t think he would buy any of the big ideas anyway.

• My Love is Unconditional. It doesn’t sit well with me that my child has to prove he’s on the nice list to get presents. Gifts are one expression of love and my love for him is unconditional. I don’t want him to live in fear of doing something wrong and therefore not getting to celebrate Christmas morning. I want him to act well because it is the right thing to do. This is something I teach him all year long, not just in December. Being kind is always our goal.

• Income Inequality. The idea that Santa brings some kids a motorized Jeep and some kids a dollar store trinket Jeep is not lost on me. Some parents handle this by saying that the large gifts are from Mom and Dad or other family members and have Santa bring a smaller gift or the stocking so that is another approach to help with the inequity.

• Mall Santas. I am not on team Mall Santa. I don’t like the idea of my child sitting on a stranger’s lap. A toddler waiting in line a while is never a great idea. Most children instinctively don’t want to sit on the stranger’s lap and we ask them to anyway. They are actively being told in that case to not follow their instincts.

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A Phrase Guide for Family and Friends

1. Instead of saying “Are you excited for Santa to come?” Try “Are you excited for Christmas?”

2. Instead of saying “What are you asking Santa for for Christmas?” Try “What presents are you hoping to get for Christmas?”

3. Please don’t say things like “Are you being nice this year so Santa will bring you lots of presents?” or “Make sure to stay off the naughty list!”

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Reach out!

Does this approach resonate with you? I’d love to hear why. Are there other traditions or similar ways you approach the holiday in your family? I’d love to hear them. Comment below or send me a private message.

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Gift Guide: Kitchen Items for Vegan Foodies (or Anyone, Really)

For the foodies in your life that love to cook, here is a list of the items that are most used in my vegan kitchen. Enjoy!

Larger Items

Restaurant Quality Smoothies from my Vitamix

Vitamix Blender - This is my go-to kitchen tool. I use it to make restaurant-quality smoothies, hummus and other dips, pasta sauces, salad dressings, banana nice cream and sorbets, to grind coffee beans, and even to finely shred some veggies like cabbage and carrots. I have used my Vitamix almost daily for the last seven years.

Food Processor - This is a more recent purchase for me. Thank you, Costco sale. I mostly got it to give my Vitamix a break. So far my favorite thing to make in it is date energy balls. It’s also great for finely chopping nuts and vegetables. I can’t say that it’s absolutely needed if you have a Vitamix but I am definitely enjoying it.

High Quality Knives - If you eat a lot of produce, you likely do a lot of chopping. Like, every day. High quality knives make this process less time consuming and more precise. I notice a huge difference when I use low quality or dulled knives.

High Quality Cutting Boards - On that theme, I am constantly using my cutting boards. Mine conveniently pop in the dishwasher but I have heard a large block is really where it’s at.

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Smaller Items

My Nana’s garlic keeper

Garlic Keeper - I am not saying every vegan loves garlic, but I haven’t yet met one that doesn’t. This item is just a little nice to have. I have my grandmother’s old school garlic keeper and it just makes me feel so comforted when I reach for the garlic, which is most days.

Garlic Press - Again, not needed, but very helpful to speed things up when you like a lot of garlic minced.

Mason Jar Lids - I store so many dried goods in mason jars and just love them. I find the metal lids to rust and they even specify on the packaging that they are meant for one time use. While I try to not buy too much plastic, I do really love my reusable mason jar lids. I find that all of mine are always in use.

Apple Crisp in the making with fresh lemon juice

Reusable Metal Straws - This one tends to be pretty polarizing but I love my reusable metal straws.

Handheld Citrus Juicer - This one became a game changer when I got it last year. I find I use more lemons in my cooking just because I have it. And, my son is pretty obsessed with the days when we make some fresh pressed OJ.

Spatulas - A great complimentary gift to a Vitamix. I have a long, thin, silicone one that is especially helpful.

Vegetable Peeler - I would guess most people would have one of these already but they are so used that they can break down or get a little gross (ask my sister) so this might be a welcomed replacement gift.

A High Quality Water Bottle - I have several and use them in rotation daily. I’ve gotten some as gifts and they are some of my favorite items to receive.

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Extra Specialty Items

Tofu Press - Learning that pressing tofu before cooking created the best texture was a game changer for me. Thank you, Lizzie. I press mine between a cloth or paper towels but an actual press would be an awesome gift for someone who cooks tofu often.

Rice Cooker - Simple and seemingly unneeded, but I use mine at least a couple of times a week for rice or quinoa. It’s just nice to free up the stove and let this one cook on its own. Mine is quite small and inexpensive but the basic setting of on and then “keep warm” when it’s done cooking, until you’re ready to eat it, is quite lovely. Highly recommend.

Dehydrator - This was on my wish list for years and I just never could justify the cost for the minimal use. But, I am borrowing a friend’s right now and it feels like the perfect balance to have it for a few weeks a year. Today I made dried apple slices, dried orange slices for holiday ornaments, and this week I am hoping to get to some homemade kale chips and drying the last of my garden’s herbs.

Juicer - I have one. I love it. I rarely use it. I prefer to make smoothies and get all of the fiber. I used to juice and then make pulp muffins. That was a fun kick but I find that the excitement of a juicer and the effort to use the pulp and clean it all up outweighs the usage for me. That said, it could make a great gift for someone who’s eyeing one!

Air Fryer - I recently used an air fryer for the first time and definitely loved the potato wedges and sweet potato fries that it made. They were pretty comparable with my oven baked versions but definitely a lot quicker and I avoided having to heat up a whole oven. It might come down to how much counter space you have available, but it’s definitely a fun addition.

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Services

Misfits and Thrive Market Delivery

Gift Cards - Help support the local economy where your loved one lives by gifting a gift card to their favorite vegan restaurant. If you’re local to MA, I highly recommend Walnut Grille (Needham), Life Alive (Cambridge, Brookline, Boston, Salem) and Green Leaf (Framingham).

Thrive Market - If you have a loved one who lives in a rural area where access to specialty grocery stores like Whole Foods Market is difficult, an annual membership to Thrive Market could be a great gift.

Purple Carrot - This vegan meal prep service delivers weekly ingredients and recipes to your door. They are based in Needham, MA and I am a big fan. I used the service for over a year while I was transitioning to veganism and I loved all of the menu ideas and cooking styles I learned while using the service. I actually only stopped when I was pregnant and had too many food aversions to gamble on the menu. This is really a great gift for any foodie though, not just vegans. Carnivore friends of mine loved the meals as well.

Misfits Market - This weekly grocery subscription service delivers “misfit” produce on a budget. I am a big fan of this service as it helps alleviate food waste, keeps me eating seasonally, and has even introduced me to new produce I’d never used before. Use this code to receive 25% off your first box. Code: COOKWME-PE4QBK

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What gifts have you loved giving or receiving? What kitchen items and services are your most loved? Share them in the comments below.

How to Navigate Large Group Meals as a Vegan (or Vegetarian)

Listen, holidays are hard for everyone and adding the extra challenge of a restricted diet can be challenging for sure. Below are a few tips for navigating large group meals.

(And, if you’re cooking for a vegan or vegetarian, you can also check out my recent blog post on How to Cook for a Vegan During the Holidays which includes easy substitutions to veganize meals and tips on how to approach the holiday.)

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Ideas to make the Big Meal a Little Less Scary

Spicy roasted chickpeas - great as a side dish or salad topper

1. Offer to Bring a Main Dish - Assuming you are not hosting, reach out to the host and offer to bring a main dish that can be shared with everyone. This is a tip I learned from Ellen Fisher and I love how she emphasizes that this method is super inclusive. Plus, if nothing else is vegan / vegetarian, at least you have a main dish to eat.

2. Offer to Bring a Few Sharable Appetizers or Side Dishes - Again, emphasis on shareable sizes and enough for you to feel satisfied.

3. Or, Bring your Own Meal - Another option is to bring your own meal entirely. I used to do this and on occasion, still do. It works, but it can be a bit awkward and isolating compared to options 1 and 2.

4. Don’t forget about dessert. Save for some apple pies or crumbs, it’s doubtful that any holiday desserts are vegan. But the good news is, these two are easy to make. And, the Costco Apple Pie is vegan and humongous.

5. Pack a Snack - If you aren’t comfortable bringing your own food or a shareable dish and want to try to go incognito, I highly recommend packing a few high calorie snacks that you can eat to fill up. For me, mixed nuts is my go to. I used to carry a few bars in my bag, always. Truthfully, they stayed there usually until they became mushed from living at the bottom of my bag, but when I needed them, they were so helpful to prevent any hangry feelings. These days, there typically are vegan options easily accessible (even if this means on the car ride home) but I know that’s not the case in some areas and in some families.

6. Communicate with the Host - Let the host know ahead of time that you are vegan or vegetarian. I find it helpful to talk ahead of time and ensure that they do not need to make anything differently for you but that you would appreciate knowing which dishes are vegan / vegetarian safe. If the conversation goes there, assure them that you are not judgmental of their food choices and are comfortable with everyone else eating as they choose. If you are not, shared group meals may not be a great environment for you.

7. If asked, share tips on how to veganize meals. - I don’t usually offer these up unless a host asks. It is usually super simple to switch to olive oil instead of butter to sauté vegetables or to use vegetable stock instead of chicken or beef stock. Not everyone is up for making a homemade cashew cream but most will happily add a non-dairy cheese to a charcuterie board (I recommend Tree Line Scallion Soft Nut Cheese) or set aside a small portion of a dish before adding cheese or other dairy on top.

8. Host a Meal Yourself - I used to think that I had to provide non-vegan or vegetarian options as a host and this is something I now completely dismiss. I’ve hosted two vegan kids’ birthday parties now and they’ve gone great. To be honest, I am not sure that anyone even noticed.

9. Share Recipes - Year round, I encourage you to share recipes you love with your friends and family. Vegan and vegetarian dishes don’t have to be just for those who eat this way exclusively.

10. Conversation - Avoidance is not my typical advice. While I do love talking about veganism, I recommend avoiding the topic at the dinner table. It’s awkward and really not the place for the discussion. If it comes up, try an easy response like this one: “I’d prefer to chat later on if you’re interested in following up.”

11. Have Compassion - At the heart of veganism is compassion. Compassion for the animals, for the environment, for your health. Whatever your motivator, it’s usually fueled by passion and love. I encourage you to have that same compassion for every single person at your holiday dinner table. Yes, it’s hard. Try it anyway. Know that everyone is doing their best. They may not see things the same ways you do and that’s okay. Love them anyway.

12. That Includes For Yourself - If you eat something that goes against your plan, forgive yourself. And know, it gets easier. I used to struggle with the transition from vegetarian to vegan at large meals. I was tempted. I found my “why” for going vegan and truly am no longer tempted. I’ve since learned about Intuitive Eating and it really resonates with me. For me, eating a vegan diet is what I intuitively want to eat.

13. But, Don’t Give in to Peer Pressure - Recognize when you have your own desire to eat something - that’s fine! You do you. But don’t let others bully you into eating their way. Know that all those jokes and taunts are coming, most likely, because your action calls into question theirs as well. They may interpret your not eating meat and dairy as offensive to their deep seeded family traditions or their upbringing. Remember, this is not personal to you, but to them. And, I’ve found that many people are actually not comfortable with their choice to eat meat or dairy when they actually sit with the idea and this comes up in a lot of ways, often directed at you. Armor up with love and strength. You got this.

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The Most Important Part

A very cold November hike with my mom and three year old.

Spending time with the people you love is the most important part. Don’t let the meal be bigger than it is. Yes, you need to be nourished but this doesn’t have to be more elaborate than that.

I highly encourage you give compassion a chance. Talk with your family at another time if you’d like to share your veganism.

Know that you are heard by so, so many people. They may or may not be at your dinner table.

I hope that you have a safe, happy, healthy holiday this season.

Please know that you are loved.

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My Vegan Holiday Menu

I get asked this question every year. What do you even eat on Thanksgiving? And thanks to my super accommodating family, I can actually say that I eat nearly the same dinner as you. Hold the turkey and gravy, nearly every other traditional dish is vegetarian and easily made vegan. Below are some go-to’s in our family.

If you’re cooking for a vegan or vegetarian, you can also check out my recent blog post on How to Cook for a Vegan During the Holidays which includes easy substitutions to veganize meals and tips on how to approach the holiday.

My 2020 Vegan Thanksgiving Spread

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My 2020 Vegan Holiday Menu

A Misfits Market Produce Haul

Roasted Root Vegetables. Think carrots, beets, potatoes, sweet potatoes, turnips, parsnips etc. roasted with spices like rosemary and thyme, lightly coated with olive oil, salt and pepper. I usually add a few garlic cloves and some red onion as well.

Pan Fried Brussels Sprouts. I made this last week with a simple glaze of balsamic vinegar, maple syrup and a touch of salt and it was out of this world. You could add some walnuts, dried cranberries or fresh pomegranate seeds to dress it up a bit more.

Vegan Kale Caesar Salad. Oh She Glows makes my favorite one.

Rice Pilaf. Just make sure there is no chicken stock or flavoring used.

Rolls or Ciabatta Bread with Olive Oil or a Garlic Dip. So simple and delicious. And, you can make a cashew garlic dip that is to die for by simply blending cashews, olive oil, garlic cloves, nutritional yeast, salt and pepper. Thin with water if needed.

Apple Crumble. Just sub in vegan butter and you are literally golden. Top with Ben & Jerry’s or FoMu Vegan ice cream if you’re feeling it.

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Runner Up Menu Options

Roasted Potatoes

Rainbow Swiss Chard with Cannellini Beans and Garlic. Sauté everything in olive oil including the chard stems. I like them chopped into skinny pieces, almost like celery. I make this one all the time, not just during the holidays.

String Beans Sautéed with Almonds. I love this with a light peanut sauce.

Mashed Potatoes or Mashed Sweet Potatoes. This one is not normally vegan but can easily be made vegan with Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks and Soy Milk or Cream.

Vegan Stuffing. I have been wanting to try this Vegan Stuffing recipe by Minimalist Baker. I’ve also seen it done with a mushroom base but I am personally not a huge mushroom fan.

Vegan Mac and Cheese. My favorite recipe is in Ellen Fisher’s ebook.

Roasted Potatoes or a Baked Potato. Roasted potatoes crisp up best if they are presoaked in cold water. I season them with garlic powder, smoked paprika and rosemary with a light olive oil and salt coating.

Apple Pie. Amazingly, this is naturally vegan. Obviously, double check your ingredients but most recipes and even store bought versions are typically vegan.

Pumpkin Pie. Using silken tofu, you can make a pretty convincing vegan pumpkin pie.

Ginger Molasses or Chocolate Chip Cookies. I veganize these with plant based butter and flax eggs. Yummm.

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The Most Important Part

My number one.

I absolutely love holiday dinners with my family. I love catching up with my cousins and enjoying all of their life updates. The food is great, for sure. I am lucky. But it’s really not about the food. It’s about spending time together and appreciating each other and expressing gratitude for all that we have and love. Cheesy as it sounds, my sister often gets going a “what are you most proud of this year?” or “what are you grateful for?” and I really love listening to everyone’s responses.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be really hard to be vegan or vegetarian during the holidays or for big group meals. I have eaten packaged granola bars or a handful of nuts when there isn’t anything else offered that doesn’t contradict my beliefs. But I have learned tips on how to figure out the food part, and I focus on what is most important. It’s never the food.

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Recipe Bloggers and YouTubers That I Love

If you are looking to veganize a certain dish or for more specific recipes, I highly recommend these resources.

Minimalist Baker - This is my go to for blog recipes. She is actually not all vegan but has an extensive vegan section.

Oh She Glows - Great vegan blog.

Pick Up Limes - I love Sadia’s YouTube videos because not only are they full of amazing vegan recipes, she is also one of the most calming and encouraging bloggers that I follow. Huge fan. I am so ready for a cookbook or restaurant from her.

Avant Garde Vegan - If you are craving some fancy vegan meals, Gaz Oakley is the one to follow. I love his YouTube channel for more complex vegan meals. He definitely tries to make the meat equivalents too so if that’s your thing, check him out.

Cookie and Kate - This blog is vegetarian but she offers easy ways to veganize and has a whole vegan section.

Ellen Fisher and Hannah McNeely - These vegan YouTubers are activists and sisters. They offer a ton of content including home schooling and lifestyle videos. I am including them here because they both have vegan ebooks and post recipes often on their channels.

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Additional Resources

1. If you’d like more vegan holiday menu ideas, you can always look up menus from your favorite restaurants for inspiration. Almost all restaurants post their menus online and you can google for copycat recipes.

2. Whole Foods Market offers a takeout style vegan holiday meal for two, along with many sides serving 4-6 people. So if you don’t feel like cooking, this might be a great option. Or, just read the menu for inspiration. This year I am seeing a few items that catch my eye like Spinach Artichoke Puffs, Miso Creamed Greens, Coconut Sweet Potato Casserole, Pumpkin Curry Soup, Abe’s Vegan Cornbread Loaf (Love this brand!), Olive Oil Smashed Cauliflower and more.

3. Purple Carrot (Based in Needham, MA!) is offering a holiday box. I was a Purple Carrot subscriber for several years while transitioning to plant based and highly recommend this service.

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I hope that you find these menu items and resources helpful.

If you are struggling with the holidays or with shared group meals, I am here for you. Let me know your questions and concerns and we will find a solution together.

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A Note on Indigenous People

I am raising my hand to say, I am learning.

Is anyone else completely upset that what we were taught in school is complete bull? I am livid. And I am learning. When I talk about Thanksgiving, please know this, I do not celebrate mass genocide. It is absolutely appalling. Disgusting. Disturbing. Upsetting to say the least.

My first step is to unlearn what I was taught and then to learn the truth. I am in this phase. I will also ensure that my son is taught the truth.

For now, as we are all given time off of work and school and routines, I do get together with my family (albeit via zoom this year) to spread love and kindness, to catch up. If you have ideas on how to include the unlearning, the new learning and the appropriate way to teach our children about our history’s past and the Indigenous People in our society, I am all ears.

With love and respect to you this November.

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Cooking for a Vegan During the Holidays - Easy Swaps and Considerate Tips

With the holidays coming up, I thought I’d share a few quick tips and tricks in case you find yourself cooking for a vegan, unsure where to start. My goal is to make it easy for you so please comment below or reach out if you have more specific questions. I’m here for you.

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Key substitutions - transition a mostly plant-based meal to a fully vegan meal

My three year old took this photo of me, enjoying a homemade vegan donut muffin creation.

Chicken Stock / Beef Bullion - Consider using vegetable stock or your own mix of seasonings.

Butter - Consider cooking with oil - olive oil, coconut oil, sesame oil, etc. or plant based butter or margarine.

I like Miyoko’s European Style Cultured Vegan Butter for spreading on toast and Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks for baking.

Milk - Consider using a plant based milk - almond, soy, oat, cashew, flax, hemp, coconut, rice. Bonus, you can buy these shelf stable to save room in the fridge. Although you must refrigerate after opening.

Plain, unsweetened almond milk is my go-to. I haven’t noticed much difference in brands but usually get Almond Breeze or Whole Food’s 365 brand. In coffee, or for extra creamy dishes, I prefer soy milk, unsweetened original.

Cream - Consider using canned coconut milk. If you’re having fun experimenting with these substitutions, soaked and then blended cashews work really well, especially in sauces and dips.

Again, I am pretty brand agnostic here. Just make sure you grab full fat canned coconut milk. It can often be found in the Asian cooking section. For cashews, I buy them unsalted, in bulk at Costco, because once you try using them in this way, you’re going to want a lot!

Eggs - In baking, a “flax egg” (1 T ground flax mixed with 2.5 T water, stir, let sit 5 minutes) has worked perfectly for me every time. There are also a lot of egg replacers out there that I have not tried.

For flax seeds, you can also buy them whole and grind them yourself as needed in a spice grinder, coffee grinder, food processor, or high speed blender. I use them up fairly quickly, so I buy them pre-ground for convenience. I keep mine in the fridge.

Cheese - Nothing really replaces cheese. Depending on a recipe, vegan cheese can be used or nutritional yeast can create a cheesy flavor, but really, I’d avoid these unless you’re trying to make a fully vegan meal. Most cheese eaters will likely not be fooled. In something like a cheese board, you could add a faux cheese to the board.

In a cheese board, the Treeline Soft French-Style Nut Cheeses are really delicious with crackers or toast. They are a little pricey but a real treat. The Kite Hill Ricotta is also really delicious. I personally avoid most shredded and sliced faux cheeses but Chao Original is absolutely delicious. I’m not sure where this could be used for holiday cooking but it is the only sliced vegan cheese I can eat plain and it makes really great grilled cheeses.

Yogurt and Mayo - Consider using a plant based yogurt - cashew, coconut, soy - and a vegan mayo.

My favorite is Forager Cashew Based Vegan Yogurt. I’d recommend using plain, unsweetened, and adding flavor separately. I am not a fan of mayo, vegan or otherwise, but know that this product does exist. For a dip, I highly recommend the Buffalo or Chipotle Flavored Bitchin Sauce. It’s great with veggie sticks, chips, or even a sandwich spread for left-overs day.

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Thoughtful Offerings

Homemade vegan apple pie

Honest Communication - The most thoughtful thing, in my experience, is honest communication. This can be as simple as saying that it is too much work for the host and could you please bring your own food this year. We get it. If you are planning to cook some vegan meals, you can also…

Send a Text or Email or Call - Let the person know the menu and what meals are safe for them to eat ahead of time. That way, day of, you don’t even need to make a thing of it and the person can decide if that will be enough food or if they would like to compliment it with something additional of their own.

Labels - You can put a simple index card or cute decorative card next to dishes to label them. This can include all of the ingredients or just the name of the dish with vegan / vegetarian or non-vegan / non-vegetarian written next to the name.

Save a Little to the Side Before Dressing Up - This one has been huge in my experience. If you are set on cooking your veggies with butter, using a non-vegan salad dressing, or adding cheese on top of a dish, for example, simply saving a little to the side before adding the non-vegan item is hugely appreciated. Trust me, we don’t mind things plain, especially versus nothing at all, and we don’t need a huge portion.

Request a Dish - Pot luck style -reach out and ask the person to bring a main or side dish that is safe for them to eat.

Request a Recipe - If you’re open to a new recipe, you can ask if they have a favorite side, main or dessert recipe for you to try.

Use Separate Serving Dishes and Spoons - Once you ladle your gravy, please don’t put that same serving utensil in the vegan mashed potatoes.

Don’t Overthink It - So many things are naturally vegan. Apple pie, for example, is often vegan. I believe Costco’s apple pie is and could serve an army it’s so big. Having fruit out with dessert is also great. Salads often are vegan before add-ons. Almost all side dishes can be vegan pretty easily with minimal thought.

Buy a Dish or Meal - Whole Foods Market offers a pre-made two person take home vegan dinner for $40. If you know that every dish will not be vegan and don’t want to try these substitutions, know that that is fine. You may prefer this option. The vegan in your life will likely be hugely appreciative that you thought of them.

Dinner Topics - I absolutely love talking about veganism with anyone who’s interested. Going vegan has changed my life in the best way possible. That said, talking about compassion for animals, the positive impact on the environment and on my health is not something I’d like to talk about at a dinner table or prep kitchen while others are cooking or eating their turkey and stuffing. I reserve no judgement for people who do not chose to live a vegan lifestyle. Veganism is all about compassion for all. But, it’s totally awkward to talk about mid-meal. If you’re interested, definitely do reach out. Just please save it for another time. Also, please don’t apologize for eating meat or dairy. It also makes us feel awkward and it’s not needed.

Protein - Please do not concern yourself with the person’s protein intake. I assure you, they are fine. This question is the nails on a chalkboard topic for most vegans.

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Helpful Definitions

Vegetarian - A person who does not consume meat or fish. They typically still eat eggs and dairy like milk, butter, yogurt, sour cream, and cheese.

When I was vegetarian, I used to say, if it had a face, I didn’t eat it. I came up with this in middle school but it was actually a pretty helpful guide for others.

Pescatarian - A person who does not consume meat but does consume fish, and typically eggs and dairy.

Plant-Based - A person who does not consume meat or fish products. A person who eats plant-based will not consume animals or fish or anything that comes from them so things like eggs, dairy and honey are off the table in addition to the meat and fish itself.

Whole Foods Plant-Based - A person who eats plant-based and avoids processed foods.

Vegan - A person who does not consume meat or fish or their products in all aspects of their lives from food to clothes, for example. A vegan would not buy a leather couch or wool dryer balls. Clothing comes up a lot in this conversation because there are so many leather and suede shoes, handbags, accessories, fur, wool and cashmere sweaters and socks, etc. But it actually extends further than this as many products from makeup and bath products to household cleaners are tested on animals. So, think of vegan, as much more than what they consume at a meal and more so what they consume in their lives. For food, it’s the same as plant-based.

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Simply by reading this post, you are already showing consideration for the vegan in your life. Know that they appreciate all efforts, big and small, that you make to make them feel loved and heard.

Remember, in the end, the point of the holidays is to spend time with the people we love. It’s the gathering at the table, or zoom this year, that matters.

Together, let’s all put to rest the idea that the tofurkey was ever a good idea.

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